Sisters Forever
by ashnicole896
Summary: My first fanfic... Set shortly after the great thaw. Sisterly fluff...NOT elsanna UPDATED: Now a continuing story about life for the sisters as the deal with past hurts and learn their new roles in each other's lives (T because it may deal with mental illness later on)
1. Night Terrrors

**This is my first fanfiction, though I have been reading for quite a while. I have absolutely fallen in love with this movie and its story line. Feel free to read and review :) This is a one-shot, possibly a longer story in the future. Thanks and have a wonderful day**

**Edited to Add: I do not own Frozen or its characters. I just have fun imagining them in various stories...all rights belong to Disney :)**

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Anna had been having a terrible time sleeping after the great thaw. Though the gates continued to remain open, her sister was opening up more and more, and Arendelle was in love with the new queen, Anna still struggled. The fear still crept in that it would all go back to how it was before, or worse. This night Anna was plagued with the same nightmare that had haunted her the past few weeks, the day she nearly froze to death. Her death wasn't the fear; it was that she was unable to reach her sister in time to save her; that Hans had gotten to Elsa first. She continued tossing and turning, tears forming in her eyes. "No! Elsa!" she finally managed to cry out.

The Queen of Arendelle had been having her own troubles adjusting to the new life. Not only was she still getting used to all of her new found responsibilities as queen, but she also was still learning how to open up and stop shutting the world out. She was also still trying to get a handle on her powers, though much more in control than ever before, she would fear the day that she might lose control again. Her own night was fairly restless, so she decided to take a walk around the castle to clear her mind. There, she heard her sister's cries and rushed in to see what was wrong.

"Anna!" she exclaimed bursting through her sister's door without bothering to knock. Elsa was tense and the adrenaline pulsed through her vein causing ice to coat the room. She quickly looked around and saw no one but her sister thrashing around in bed, as if fighting an invisible force. She walked over and gently shook her shoulders. "Anna? Anna…it's ok, it was just a dream."

"Elsa!" the younger one gasped and sat bolt right up in bed. Breathing heavily, she slowly regained full consciousness and awareness. "Elsa…you were gone. I tried but I just couldn't get there…you were gone," she repeated through sobs.

Elsa grabbed her sister in a hug, forgetting any fear she herself had of touch, and began stroking her hair. "It's ok, it was just a dream, it's alright now."

Anna finally began to calm down realizing that no matter how real it seemed, it was only a dream and her sister was sitting right in front of her. She suddenly felt foolish for all the commotion she had caused over nothing. She sat back and looked her sister in the eyes. "I'm so sorry, Elsa. I didn't mean to disturb you. It was nothing."

Elsa felt a slight smile come across her face, "If it upset you, it's not just nothing. You are and always will be my baby sister and I care for you more than you know."

Anna smiled at this and simply replied, "Same with you…well, not that you're my baby sister or anything, just that…"

Elsa laughed at the younger girl stumbling over her words but then looked solemn and claimed, "I still have nightmares about that day too."

Anna's eyes went wide; she never thought that Elsa would be plagued with these night terrors. "You do?"

"Mmhm," the queen shook her head. "Only my nightmares consist of me losing _you_." As she said this, tiny tears formed in the corners of her eyes and frost began to coat the walls and ceiling. The very thought of losing Anna destroyed her, especially when it was at her own hands.

Anna, seeing her sister becoming visibly shaken and feeling the chill in the air put her hands on Elsa's shoulders. "Elsa, I'm fine. I'm right here. Nothing can get between us again."

Elsa felt a smile flash on her face, "Aren't I supposed to be the one giving the encouragement here?" Both girls began laughing as the room became warm again. Anna try to stifle a yawn in vain.

"Tired?" laughed Elsa.

"Just a little" admitted the younger girl.

"I'll let you sleep then." The queen rose to leave the room when she heard her sister chime in.

"Elsa? You could stay here tonight, if you'd like. We could keep the nightmares away."

They both smiled at each other as Elsa lay back down next to her younger sister.

"I love you, Elsa, and I am so glad you are my sister."

"I love you, too, Anna."


	2. Together Always

**Disney still owns everything. Thanks for reading :)**

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The next morning, Elsa awoke to something poking into her side. She groaned and quickly realized it was not something, but _someone_ as she saw her younger sister staring down at her. Elsa gasped, frightened at first forgetting the previous nights events. The shock sent some ice out of her fingertips.

"Whoa!" Anna dodged the particles. "Well, good morning to you too."

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry, Anna. Are you hurt?" grief and regret immediately sank in.

"Not at all," Anna laughed, "maybe you should sleep with the gloves on though." She teased her sister.

Elsa breathed a quick sigh of relief and slowly remembered what had happened the night before, explaining why the red head was now staring down at her. "How long had you been watching me?"

"Oh, I don't know, about an hour maybe?"

"An hour?! What time is it now?" Elsa was not used to sleeping in and typically enjoyed having time in the morning to watch the sunrise.

"Um, 11 I think?" the younger girl stated.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"You mumble in your sleep. And sometimes you wave your hands around as if you are going to do the magic. It's rather cute." She smiled playfully at the older girl.

"Well, I'm so glad I could be used for your amusement." Elsa joked back. "You know, you are interesting to watch in your sleep as well. You toss and turn like no one I've ever seen, ever since we were young."

Anna looked at the blankets which were a tangled mess and her own pillow on the floor.

"Mama used to joke that you were never still, even when asleep." Both girls smiled at the fond memory of their mother, and the short time in childhood they had shared together. "That also explains whatever _that_ is" Elsa said pointing to the mess gracing the younger girl's head.

Anna felt her hair and laughed. "I'm sorry if I kicked you last night" she explained.

"You didn't," Elsa smiled "I'm sorry I nearly pelted you with ice."

There was a short silence between the girls before Anna finally blurted out, "Thank you."

"For pelting you with ice?" Elsa raised an eyebrow.

"No, no" Anna laughed "And you missed by the way, maybe work on your aim some more. I mean, thank you for last night and for staying with me."

"Of course, Anna. I will always be here for you. No matter what. You will always be my baby sister." Elsa grabbed her sister and pulled her into a tight hug before placing a kiss on her messy head. "Now as your older sister, and queen, I command you to do something with your hair." She teased.

Anna simply smiled and teased back, "As you wish, Your Majesty."


	3. Beginning of the End

**Read and review. Please and thank you :)**

**Again, I do not own these characters :)**

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The girls continued on the next few weeks coping fairly well with the changes before them. Elsa left her door unlocked and Anna knew she was always welcomed. Anna enjoyed hanging out with Kristoff and Olaf, though they were both fairly busy making trips to the North Mountain; summer was the peak season for the Master Ice Harvester and Deliverer so Sven, Kristoff, and even Olaf were gone most of the time. Olaf starting wanting to tag along with Kristoff and Sven, and though he acted annoyed, Kristoff was happy to have a conversation partner that he did not have to voice himself.

Elsa tried to run the kingdom and deal with all her new queenly duties, while still making time for her sister. Sitting down to diner one evening when Kristoff had returned, Anna noticed the stress seemed to be getting to her older sister. Elsa sat silently, picking at her food, while Anna chattered on to Kristoff and Olaf about an even newer sleigh she had found with_ two_ cup holders. She looked up feeling a chill in the air and saw Elsa zoned out, frost beginning to coat the walls.

"Elsa?"

"Huh? Sorry, Anna. Did you need something?"

"Are you ok? You've been quiet the entire dinner and you've barely even touched your food."

"Oh, yes, I'm fine. Thank you."

Anna raised an eyebrow at the formality her sister was showing, but she shrugged it off to having guests, even if the guests were Kristoff and a talking snowman. When Elsa excused herself before dessert though, Anna worried again. After finishing and telling her guests goodbye, Anna went up and stood in front of Elsa's door. It was shut tight, for the first time since the thaw. Anna took a deep breath and rapped on the door in her signature knock.

"Anna?"

"Um, yes, it's me. May I…?"

Before she could even finish the sentence Elsa was at the door.

"Are you alright, Anna? Do you need something?" Elsa asked almost frantic standing with the door slightly cracked.

"Uh, yeah, I'm great, thanks. Are _you _alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."

"Elsa. Please. Be honest with me. I'm right here for you."

With this, Elsa gave a slight, sad smile and opened the door wider. Anna's eyes went wide as she saw the room coated in frost, snowflakes hanging in the air. It was at this point she saw the gloves back on Elsa's hands.

"Elsa…" she said quietly looking around the room. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know," the older girl admitted rubbing her arms. "I guess I am just feeling overwhelmed with everything."

"It's not me? Is it? Because I can entertain myself more or…"

"No..no." the elder interrupted placing her hands on Anna's shoulders. "No, it was never you. I actually feel best when we are together."

Both smiled and Anna pulled her sister in for a hug. With that, the frost began to disappear and the snow evaporated.

"Well that was a simple fix!" Anna laughed.

Elsa smiled back and her younger sister but wasn't sure that a hug, though appreciated, was the answer to all her problems.

"So, is there anything you wanna talk about?" Anna asked pulling back from her older sister.

Elsa thought for a split second that maybe talking would help her deal with and figure out some of the issues with the kingdom, but no; she couldn't burden Anna with that. "No, no. I'm really ok now, thank you though, Anna." She said with a plastered smile. "I think I might just finish going through some of these court cases and trade agreements before going to bed."

"Well, if you need me, you know where to find me," Anna said cheerfully "And maybe I could get a special title for the whole being able to help you unthaw things…" she laughed.

"What, _Princess _of Arendelle isn't good enough for you?" Elsa teased.

"Hey! If you can make up a title for Kristoff, I want a made up title too!"

"I did nothing of the sort, that title has been around for centuries, we have just never found the perfect person for the position."

Anna rolled her eyes and stuck out her tongue at her older sister.

"Maybe I should revoke the Princess title because that is certainly not how one acts." Elsa now struggling to keep a straight face.

"Oh come on, sis, we know better than that" Anna retorted winking.

With that, both girls went to their rooms, though shortly after Anna left a chill returned to Elsa's. While one girl slept soundly, the other's mind was racing with all consuming thoughts causing her to lay awake all night.


	4. Closed Door

**AN: Thank you so much for your reviews! I never thought I would get any and it makes me so happy! Sorry it has taken so long to post this...I've been at a bit of a block...I know where I want the story to go, just unsure how to get it there. Hang in there if you would :) Thanks again and have a marvelous day!**

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That night the Princess slept soundly while the queen busied herself with paperwork, trade agreements, court documents, and then buried herself in books. She did everything to escape drifting to sleep, being alone in her own thoughts terrified her. Overwhelmed with work, she felt completely inadequate- as a sister, as a friend, as a queen, as a person. Elsa had always struggled with perfectionism, a trait that started when she was a child. Locked away in her own room, she began to busy herself with keeping everything organized. What was once a simple personality characteristic became a burden. Everything must be perfect. She would spend hours cleaning and re-cleaning her room. Anna's guess about dirt bothering her was not completely off.

The next morning, Anna was shocked to see Elsa missing from the table. Elsa was always the first one up, often even before the servants. Kristoff and Olaf were strolling in as Anna quickly finished braiding her hair, fearing a scolding for being late.

"Whoa, slow down, feisty pants." Kristoff said catching her as she nearly fell.

"Hah, thanks."

"Good morning, Anna!" Olaf cheerily exclaimed. "And how did you sleep last night?"

"Wonderfully, thanks, Olaf. Um, have either of you seen Elsa?"

"Nope!" Olaf state simply.

"No, not this morning; everything ok?" Kristoff questioned as he helped pulled out Anna's chair.

"Um, I'm not sure."

Just then, as if on cue, Elsa came in slowly. Anna let out a slight gasp as she saw her sister. Elsa looked like a zombie, her eyes were puffy, hair disheveled, and, most significantly, the gloves were still on. Kristoff and Anna both exchanged silent glances as Elsa sat down silently. The room began to have a slight chill ever since she stepped into the room, but everyone remained quiet.

Anna couldn't keep silent anymore; she didn't know what to say, but she knew she must say something. Clearing her throat she quietly said, "uh, good morning, Elsa."

"Oh, sorry." Elsa replied, shaking her head as if to clear the fog. "Good morning. I hope you all slept well?"

Anna and Kristoff exchanged brief glances. They both knew Elsa was hiding something, but Anna feared pushing her because she didn't want to be shut out again.

Olaf broke the silence, "Hey Elsa! You know, I appreciated the cold, but I still have my own flurry you made me! You don't need to freeze the whole room!" The room was now covered in frost up the walls and a chill hung in the air. Elsa snapped back to reality at his comment, however, gasping and pulling tighter on her gloves.

"Oh, um I'm sorry..I .."

"You just wanted to teach me to ice skate today, right Elsa?" Anna quickly replied, hoping that would be a good enough excuse to quiet the snowman from anymore questioning and possibly give her a chance to actually talk to her sister.

"Oh right, of course. I guess I just started a bit early."

The rest of the breakfast was eaten in silence, Olaf, unammused by the quiet, decided to pay Sven a visit as he, the reindeer, and Kristoff were getting ready to leave again.

After breakfast, Elsa excused herself to her room, stating that she had many important things to attend to. Anna was left with Kristoff, staring at the older girl's uneaten food.

"Something's up. She won't talk to me though."

"Well, maybe you should just keep trying, feisty pants."

"How can I? I don't want to push her further away! Besides, I've already tried…" her voice trailed off as she leaned back in her chair, looking defeated.

At this, Kristoff got up and went over to her. "Are you kidding me right now? Aren't you the girl who climbed a mountain, fought off wolves, saved a kingdom, and won over a guy who had given up on love a long time ago?" He placed a small kiss on her forehead. "Anna, she needs you, now more than ever. Don't give up on her." With that he rose to leave, saying he would be back as soon as possible.

Anna continued to sit there, even as the dishes had been cleared. She finally got up enough courage to go to her sister's door. It was shut. She stood there, wondering if she should knock.


	5. Shard of Glass

**AN: WARNING! This chapter deals with self injury, both the act itself and the thoughts behind it. I have tried to be careful with wording to not go too graphically into the physical act itself. With that said, if you struggle with S/I...please..talk to someone. I've been there and am here for you...or you can go to a parent, a teacher, doctor, counselor...please. **

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Meanwhile, Elsa was unaware of the concern the others felt for her. She simply felt more isolated and alone than ever. She spent her days surrounded by dignitaries, legislators, and other royalty. She made time for anyone who wished to pay her a visit, whether noble or peasant. She felt as though every free moment she had, she was spending with Anna, though Anna saw it otherwise. She longed for people's approval of her, but always felt empty. Voices whispered to her of her inadequacy as queen, as daughter, as sister. They reminded her of her failures. What hurt the most is when they reminded her of her mistakes, particularly the ones that nearly took her sister's life. The queen busied herself more, hoping to escape the ever approaching darkness within her, but the voices simply grew louder still. The pain was finally too much for her to bear any longer. She pulled out a shard, what was once a mirror before it shattered from the cold the day she learned of her parents' passing. She held the cold, sharp object in her fingertips, contemplating what her next action would be. With one swift move, she brought the blade to her arm and made a small slice, the relief was instantaneous. The pain of the voices was quieted, at least for that moment. She allowed her body to slide to the floor, just as quickly as relief had filled her, regret followed. She felt like a failure all over again; this was not the first time she had used this short escape.

When she first heard of her parent's passing, the grief was overwhelming. She was then accompanied by fear: she knew what their death meant, she was to be ruler. How could she rule when she couldn't even get her own powers under control? How could she run a kingdom when she couldn't even face her own sister? She barely had time to process the grief and despair of losing her parents when the overwhelming fear of becoming queen set in. In a sheer state of panic, the room froze promptly, shattering the full length mirror. Elsa ran over to the shards grabbing one, without thinking dragging the edge against her skin to silence the pain inside. She continued this off and on for a year after her parent's death. Whenever the world seemed too much, she knew of a comfort she could turn to… she forced herself to stop mutilating herself when she began to have to make more public appearances in preparation for her coronation and becoming queen. She hid the shard, simply feeling comfort that it was there if she ever needed it again.

Anna stood outside Elsa's door for what seemed to be forever, but she couldn't bring herself to knock. She so longed to be there for her sister, but so feared pushing the older girl away and being shut out forever. Anna quietly sighed as she slowly walked back to her room, thinking that she would simply speak to Elsa in the morning when they were both rested, though neither girl slept much that evening.


	6. Alone

** Again, warning about triggering. Thank you for all the favorites and reviews. I wanted to put that though I had had this story in mind for a while, I was inspired to actually write and post it after beginning to read the story Frostbitten Scars. It is wonderful :) this is a bit of a heavy chapter...thank you to you all**

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Elsa tossed and turned but the quiet only invited the voices which seemed to be reactivated ever since she cut again. The voices saying she wasn't good enough, was worthless, and that Anna hated her were the most frequent to dance around in her head. Feeling as though she would scream if the silence lasted any longer, she grabbed the shard again, making neat lines down both her arms. The relief, and then guilt, filled her again. But at least the voices were silent. The pain gave her something else to focus on, and though it did hurt, it was not the same as if someone else had hurt her. It brought a sense of calm and control that she couldn't describe. She lay back down on the floor, and drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Anna went to her sister's door, expecting to find it shut again, but shocked to find it open saw Elsa sitting at her desk, another pile of paperwork nearly higher than her.

"Hello, Anna" she greeted the younger girl. "Did you need something?"

Anna was taken aback; this was not the same person she had seen only 24 hours ago. Though Elsa still wore the gloves, and the room was still a bit chilly for Anna's taste, the ice was nowhere to be seen throughout the walls.

"Um, I was just coming to check on you…you, uh, you.." Anna stumbled with her words, unsure of how to post the question without sounding intrusive or bothersome.

"Yes?" her sister gently probed.

"Well, it's just that..Kristoff and I have been a bit worried about you. You have been spending all your time in your room, and when you do come down, you barely say a word. And you've been wearing the gloves again and…" Anna paused briefly to catch her breath, unsure if she should continue on. Elsa had still be a bit self conscious about her powers and the control, or lack thereof, which she had over them.

Elsa raised a gentle hand and smiled "I know I've been busy, I'm sorry. And, you're right; my powers were getting a bit out of hand. But I think I've found the solution now. It'll be fine…really." The queen gave a slight smile hoping the younger girl wouldn't see through the façade.

"Oh good!" Anna said running to her sister and hugging her. Elsa winced a bit at the touch, and Anna stepped back. "Sorry…" she muttered, looking down.

"No…it's alright, I'm just…not used to it…" she lied.

Anna gave a small smile, accepting that her sister would eventually get used to her hugs again. "Well, I guess I'll let you get back to…all of that." She said gesturing to the mounds of papers piled on the desk. Both girls smiled and as Anna turned to leave she added, "Elsa, really…if you need anything…I'm right here for you."

The sincerity in her voice felt like a knife to Elsa. She hated lying, especially to Anna, but she couldn't bear the thought of anyone knowing her secret. "Thank you, Anna" was all she could muster before her sister walked out the door.

The next few weeks were spent the same, Elsa trying to bury herself in work as an excuse to keep her away from Anna; she hated the lies she had to tell whenever the younger girl was around. The reason she had to wear the gloves, even though it appeared that the powers were under control. It was a bit of an accident Elsa had discovered that through her little release, the powers were easier to control. Bottling up all of her emotions and concealing them led the powers to become so strong she couldn't have any control over them, but releasing those feelings, whether in a healthy or unhealthy way, allowed her to be back in control again. The gloves now simply hid the evidence of how exactly she gained that control.

Kristoff, Sven and Olaf were still away and Anna was bouncing off the walls with boredom. She was so excited about them finally returning for a while that she planned a party, a distraction for herself from the pain of loneliness. She wondered if anyone else ever felt so alone surrounded by so many people. She made Elsa promise to attend the party, no matter if she "still had work to do." She deserved a night off, and Anna began to wonder if the work thing was simply becoming a cop out.

The night of the party, Elsa became completely overwhelmed again. She had become used to this, but it seemed as if each time it was getting worse. A lump caught in her throat and she struggled to breathe. The room dropped several degrees as she paced back and forth. She couldn't turn to her relief now, the party was starting any moment and she would be called away. She couldn't let them know. Her secret must remain hers. She just had to pull it together. She began muttering the phrase her father taught her over and over again, but that just brought her thoughts to her father and the pain of his passing which she never truly mourned. She felt as though she was drowning, suffocating inside and nothing could stop it. The voices grew louder and louder. She was alone. In desperation, she grabbed the shard out of its hiding place in the desk drawer; she tore off her gloves and made the lines on her arm. Though this time, the relief wasn't enough, the room continued to grow colder and the feelings of emptiness, grief, and guilt surrounded her again. She continued deeper, more….but the relief didn't last. It left her hoping for something more. She simply sat on the floor the storm swirling around her outside and the storm wildly inside. Alone.

Anna, meanwhile, was roaming the ballroom chatting with various guests, being the perfect hostess. She convinced Kai to allow Sven inside, only for that evening, and watched as the reindeer was considered the guest of honor, being gawked over by all the guests.

"Well, he seems to be having a good time." Kristoff laughed as he nudged Anna. They watched as the children decorated Sven's antler's with flowers and leaves…giving him a crown of his own. "So, how have you been, feisty pants? I feel as though we've barely had a chance to speak at all yet."

"Yeah, sorry about that, I've just been busy…I just want everyone to have a good time. I think we all need a little break."

"Speaking of your sister…" Kristoff interrupted knowing exactly what she was thinking. "Where is she?"

Anna looked around. "She promised she'd be here. She's been so busy but she promised…then, she promised she wouldn't shut the door anymore and that's still been happening…" her voice trailed off.

"Hey.." Kristoff gave her a small hug. "I'm sure she's still just getting used to the whole queen thing. Give her some time. You know that she loves you, Anna."

"Yeah…I know..it's just that.."

"Being queen isn't easy….though some seem to take to it better than others…" Kristoff stated, poking her side and encouraging her to look towards the throne. The children had seated a very pleased Sven on the throne with his antlers filled with ribbons, bows, and flowers.

Anna and Kristoff laughed at the reindeer, who seemed to be loving all the attention. "If you are still worried, why don't you go talk to her?"

"Yeah, but what if the door's shut…or she simply pushes me out or…"

"You'll never know until you try. Quit thinking the worst possible scenario. What if all of Arendelle freezes over and we've got to go climb a mountain to save everyone?" He said winking.

With that, Anna gathered enough courage to go to her sister's door. It was closed, again, but this time she decided she would simply walk in. What she found startled her beyond belief.


	7. Crumpled on the Floor

**Thank you again for all the reviews and faves and everything. Y'all are awesome. Yes, this is an intense topic but I feel it is actually cathartic to write about. Sorry about the previous cliffhanger...and now, to ease your minds a bit :)**

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Entering the room, Anna stood…motionless at the sight. The room was freezing, ice covered the walls and sharp spikes ice began to pierce into the room. Curled in the corner, Elsa sat, crumpled and defeated.

"Elsa?" Anna whispered as her breath hitched in her throat. Seeing her sister, a renewed sense of urgency over took her. "Elsa!" She screamed running over to the broken girl. Anna let out a gasp as she noticed Elsa's arms, covered in blood and lines of healing and fresh wounds. She saw the shard of mirror at her sister's side. "Elsa…what happened?" Elsa simply sat there…too ashamed to even look her sister in the eyes. Anna's voice became pleading "Elsa….did you…did you do this to yourself?"

Elsa looked at the ground…a small tear escaped, she had been caught. She was sure Anna would abandon her now…she was unworthy of any love. She was dirty and guilty. The tears fell faster.

Anna took the shard and threw it across the room, out of the older girl's reach. She then leaned down and wrapped her into a hug, rocking gently back and forth. "It's ok, Elsa…It's ok. I'm here for you. Always."

Elsa was shocked, she was sure that Anna would want nothing to do with her. The pain was almost too much for her to tolerate again…grief overtook her and she sobbed silently in her sister's arms. She let go of the fear of breaking down and the belief that she would be a burden. She couldn't keep it in any longer. Anna began to stroke her hair and hum a lullaby their mother used to sing to them. Elsa finally was able to calm down enough to speak. "I'm so sorry" was all she could manage in a slight whisper.

"No. No, Elsa I'm sorry. I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most." Elsa was amazed at how Anna was always so selfless and loving. For years Elsa shut Anna out, still _she_ was trying to apologize for not being there. Elsa didn't have the strength or desire to argue a fight she knew she would never win though.

"Elsa?"

"Mhm?"

"We need to tell someone…a doctor…someone."

"No…please, Anna…please.." the thought of her secret spreading any further terrified her and she felt hot tears forming in her eyes.

"Shhh..it's ok…I promise..it'll be ok…" Anna looked at her sister's arms and feared that she wouldn't be able to handle this alone, but didn't want to put Elsa through anything else that night. She told her sister she'd be right back, and taking the piece of glass with her to discard, she went after the first aid. Elsa winced as her sister cleaned her arm and Anna let out a small gasp as she could see the full damage. Though none were very deep, her arms were riddle in lines of various degrees of healing. Anna finished wrapping her sister's arm in a bandage and Elsa felt safer now that it was at least hidden again.

The girls stayed there silently the rest of the night, Anna continued to hum songs and Elsa, emotionally and physically exhausted, fell asleep. Anna didn't dare leave her side, and quickly joined her sister in slumber.

Kristoff, meanwhile, had been left alone playing host. When the last guests finally dispersed and he finished getting everything out of Sven's antlers, he went looking for the sisters as he hadn't seen them for hours. He peeked in the door of Elsa's room and saw them both sound asleep on the floor. He wondered what in the world they were doing, but knowing that he understood nothing that girls ever did, he simply shrugged and covered them both with a blanket before leaving for his own room for the night.


	8. Down the Rabbit Hole

**THANK YOU! The reviews are lovely and y'all are awesome. **

**I've been listening to Helio: To Write Love on Her Arms on repeat...so I guess it is kinda the inspiration for the next couple chapters :)**

**Also, by request...here is link to Frostbitten Scars: s/9972351/1/Frostbitten-Scars**

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For the first time in what seemed like forever, both girls slept through the night. They woke up to a rhythmic rapping on the door.

"Your majesties? Breakfast will be served in 20 minutes. Are you both alright?" Kai asked of the girls.

"Yes, thank you, Kai, we will be right down." Elsa answered. Anna simply groaned and pulled the blanket over her head, still in a dazed state.

She slowly began coming back to reality and the realization of her discovery last night. She threw the blanket off and recognized Elsa was now nowhere to be seen.

"Elsa!" She frantically jumped up, ready to search the castle.

Elsa gave a slight smile and poked her head in from the closet. "It's alright, Anna, I'm right here."

"I just…I thought that you..I mean…" Anna didn't know how to verbalize what she thought had happened; she didn't even want to think about it. However, she knew that ignoring the issue would only make things worse and she truly did want to be there for her sister, even if she was hurt herself in the process.

"I'm ok, Anna…" Elsa didn't know how to respond to her sister's concerns. She didn't know how to accept them. She believed that no one could really care about her, she was simply too broken to be loved by anyone. Her exasperation came out of the anger she felt towards herself and the guilt and shame she carried around.

"Are you ready to go down to breakfast?" Anna noticed that Elsa had changed into a thick, long sleeved gown as well as the gloves.

"Actually, I think I might just work up here for a while."

"No." Anna stated firmly, though she had no idea where this new found confidence had come from. "You must eat, Elsa. And you must stop putting so much pressure on yourself. And we still need to talk…about last night."

Elsa stood in shock. She had no good argument to the younger girl's case. For the first time she could remember, Elsa was simply left speechless. Anna grabbed her hand and practically drug her into the dining room. She squeezed her sister's hand as they sat down, Anna's chair nearly on top of Elsa's. "You're going to be ok." She whispered.

Breakfast for the girls was nearly silent, Anna chiming into Kristoff and Olaf's conversations occasionally. Elsa finally spoke as she quietly excused herself, and Anna jumped up to go after her. Before she could leave, however, Kristoff caught her. "Is everything ok?"

Anna gave a slight smile and shook her head no. She quickly ran to catch up with her sister, without giving him an explanation.

"What are they up to?" Olaf asked brightly.

"Something's up….Anna won't tell me though." Kristoff sighed, but knew he would hear the whole story eventually. "Well…Let's go check on Sven, Olaf."

Elsa reached her room and was ready to close the door, when a redhead popped up in front of her.

"Elsa…"

"Anna, I really do have work to do. If I don't get this finished…"

"Then what? The Kingdom will freeze? It's already done that. You are going to kill yourself if you keep this up." Anna really didn't know where she got this new found courage to stand up to her sister, but she was glad she had it.

Elsa again was speechless. She couldn't argue, or maybe she was still just too emotionally drained to argue. She slowly opened the door wider, to allow Anna to come in.

Anna went and sat on her bed, while Elsa simply stood, looking out of place and uncomfortable.

"Elsa…please?"

All Elsa wanted to do at that point was curl up and disappear, or possibly cut. The room felt as though it was becoming smaller, she was suffocating. Anna knew her secret. Her powers would be out of control. She would be a failure as a queen, she already failed as a sister, time and time again. The room felt like it was beginning to spin as the thoughts overtook her. She pressed the places on her arm from the previous night to feel the pain. To keep everything from continuing to spiral down the rabbit hole. Everything felt out of control and the room was now going black.


	9. Always

**Ok...so after some pretty intense chapters...here's one that ends a bit happier :) Thanks to all! And yes...the "always" thing is a nod to my Hunger Games obsession :)**

**Have a marvelous day! :)**

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Anna saw her sister, but then it was as if someone overtook Elsa's body. The girl in front of her was not her sister. The girl in front of her was scared to death, shaking, and rubbing her arms. She was zoned out as though she was on another planet. Fear gripped Anna as she felt as she was losing Elsa all over again. She ran to where the girl stood and simply pulled her into a hug. At that moment, Elsa felt herself being called back to reality.

"Elsa?"

"Mmhm?" Anna pulled her into a tighter hug.

"You scared me! Elsa, what is going on? Please talk to me."

Elsa sighed; she didn't want to have this conversation at all, especially not with Anna. She reluctantly sat down on the bed. "Anna, I really have…"

Anna put up her hands, "Work, I know. It can wait. You are worth more than whatever it is you have to sign."

Both girls silently looked around the room, neither one knowing exactly what to say next.

Suddenly, Anna's face lit up and she exclaimed, "I know what we need! I'll be right back!"

Elsa considered her options now, she could lock the door, she could find something else to help her release the storm building inside, or she could simply walk away. All of these options, however, would end up devastating Anna, and that was something she could not do.

Anna quickly returned, holding a platter with two mugs of hot chocolate and a plate full of chocolate chip cookies. Elsa couldn't help but laugh. Anna did know her better than anyone. That, and Anna would use any excuse to eat chocolate.

"Ok. Now we are ready." Anna claimed taking a sip of the sweet beverage. "Soooo…."

"What would you like to know?"

"Everything."

"I think we might need more cookies for that." Both girls let out a small laugh.

"Seriously, though, Elsa…was that the first time you…" Anna couldn't finish the sentence.

Elsa shook her head. "No, the first time was when I heard about Mama and Papa." She looked down, fiddling with her dress before continuing. "I heard you….crying outside my door. All I wanted to do was comfort you, but I couldn't. I felt so alone, afraid, and empty. I felt like I had failed you, I wasn't there for you. But I couldn't risk losing you too; you were all I had left." Elsa shifted uncomfortably, the pain of the memories haunting her. "I only did it when I felt overwhelmed. It provided an escape…something to take my mind off everything. It gave me control. I realized that I could control my powers after I did it…like it released the tension of holding them in. I stopped, a couple years ago. I only ever did it a handful of times since then. I tried to conceal everything. I promised myself I wouldn't do it again. I couldn't…I kept the shard though, as a comfort…"

"A comfort?" Anna raised her eyebrow trying to comprehend what her sister was saying. "But you weren't going to use it again…"

"Just having it…I don't know, Anna. I can't explain it…" she sighed.

Anna saw her sister getting frustrated trying to explain and simply squeezed her hands. "It's ok….can you just promise me something?"

Elsa feared this was a promise she would not be able to keep before her sister even asked. It was a promise she had made herself before, again and again, only to end in failure.

Anna tried to pick her words carefully as she saw Elsa tensing up. "Could you just…talk to me…if you feel like doing it again…just …we could talk first?"

Elsa didn't know how to respond; she never wanted to burden her sister and still feared being judged. She sat, deep in thought when Anna chimed in.

"We could sit down like this…with cookies and everything! Maybe if you could talk to someone about how you are feeling, you wouldn't have to hurt yourself…."

The queen smiled at her sister; though she still feared that something she would do would hurt Anna or push her away, she did long for her company. "Ok….I promise."

At this, Anna pulled her sister into a tight hug and whispered, "I'm right here for you…don't forget."


	10. PREVIEW

**Have I said how amazing you all are? Because seriously...you are :) I'm so so sorry I haven't updated...and this is a bit of a tease because it is not a full update...please bear with me! My life is a little hectic now, but I'm writing as we speak...or ...you read ;) here's a little preview for the next chapter until then... have a wonderful day guys! **

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Elsa kept her promise, for the most part. She did not hurt herself, though she did not talk with Anna about all that was bothering her either. She thought that she should be able to handle things on her own, to conceal, not feel. She kept herself busy, caffeine was a new addiction. Anna, who was normally the hyper one out of the two, could barely keep up with Elsa. Elsa worked very hard, from morning, until evening; only calling it quits by dinner time purely because Anna demanded she have a break at some point. Elsa also worked very hard to keep up socially; she had guests over to the castle and tried to entertain Anna on her days off, though Anna felt like her head was spinning just watching Elsa.


	11. Exhaustion

**Ok guys...here's the full chapter...a bit short, but longer than the snippet posted earlier :)**

**Please, if you would, read and review! Let me know how you think it is going. Thanks so much...y'all are awesome! 3**

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Elsa kept her promise, for the most part. She did not hurt herself, though she did not talk with Anna about all that was bothering her either. She thought that she should be able to handle things on her own, to conceal, not feel. She kept herself busy, caffeine was a new addiction. Anna, who was normally the hyper one out of the two, could barely keep up with Elsa. Elsa worked very hard, from morning, until evening; only calling it quits by dinner time purely because Anna demanded she have a break at some point. Elsa also worked very hard to keep up socially; she had guests over to the castle and tried to entertain Anna on her days off, though Anna felt like her head was spinning just watching Elsa.

Elsa believed that if she could just keep herself busy, all with good things, she could forget the pain inside. She worked really hard to forget. She was beginning to "forget" other things as well though, Anna noticed. It had been days since she sat down to a good meal. Elsa missed breakfast and lunch then picked at dinner. Anna didn't realize it, but the queen began eating only alone, at night, after the others were fast asleep. As the days continued, she found herself running ragged. The "high" she had reached was quickly crashing. One night after a particularly long day, the queen lay in bed wide awake. Her mind was racing, but her body was exhausted. Her stomach grumbled though she had already finished her "allotment" of food for the day. She tried reading, but the dizziness from exhaustion and hunger were too much. She finally lay back down, staring at the ceiling. Now, in the quiet, the voices crept back. The voices that she wasn't good enough, that she would fail, that she already had failed. Elsa thought she had escaped them, but they had only been quiet waiting to pounce back to life when she was at her weakest. Frost coated the windows and walls as Elsa sat in bed, wringing her hands and muttering: "conceal, don't feel, conceal, don't feel." Emptiness and despair surrounded her as she closed her eyes, fighting the tears. A lump formed in her throat and she felt unable to swallow, the emptiness unbearable. She had to do something. Pain would distract her. It would only be once more. She wouldn't do it again after. She remembered her promise to Anna, but now it was past midnight and Anna had been fast asleep for hours. Elsa took shallow breaths, simply trying to keep breathing at that point. Snow was now falling in the room and a thick layer of ice coated the ground. She knew that the shard of glass had been thrown out when Anna had found her before, but she looked at the full length mirror in her room now, which was already beginning to crack due to the cold. She tried not to think about Anna as she tiptoed across the room. She didn't want to hurt her again, but she couldn't keep disregarding this feeling within her. She reasoned that Anna wouldn't want to be bothered in her sleep, which led to thoughts of Elsa being a bother in all things, which spiraled down into Elsa feeling as though Anna hated her. The lies in her head became louder still. Elsa reached the mirror and slowly reached out a cold hand and touched it. The cold, and the magic in her fingers, caused it to shatter immediately. Though she escaped unscathed at that point, she picked up a piece with the intention to silence the voices.


	12. Lies in her Head

**This is short! Sorry about that! We've had a Youth Weekend at church that I was a leader for and I'm exhausted! lol mentally, physically, emotionally...hah! It was a great weekend though.**

**Y'all are awesome! :)**

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Elsa sat there, feeling the world cave in around her; however she was unaware that Anna and Kristoff were having a rousing game of chess just down stairs. Though neither was particularly good at chess, they both were equally stubborn and determined to win. Anna suddenly bound into Elsa's room laughing saying, "Elsa! You'll never guess what Kristoff used to …" Her giddiness and voiced trailed off. Kristoff could be heard thumping up the stairs behind her yelling, "You had better not tell her, Anna! That was private!" The cry fell on deaf ears, however, as Anna simply walked over to her sister's side. She braced herself for what she might see but relief came over her as she realized Elsa's arm was unmarked by new wounds, simply the old ones in the various stages of healing.

Kristoff arrived at the door way, "Anna, I swear if you tell her…" His eyes grew wide at the scene before him. Anna simply gave him a sad smile and whispered, "it's ok."

"I…uh..I'm going to go check on Sven…and then I'll catch up with you later, Anna…"

"Elsa…" Anna quietly began as she sat down on the floor and put her arms around the older girl. Elsa couldn't look at Anna. She had broken their promise; she had failed her sister again. "Failure….Liar…Stupid…Mistake" The words flew around in Elsa's head, pelting her as though she had been shot through the heart. She simply closed her eyes, feeling as though she deserved the pain the words brought and that they were the truth of who she was.

Anna's voiced reached into her sister's darkness as Elsa felt arms simply wrap around her and hold her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Elsa couldn't respond. She sat in silence. Anna just sat with her, she didn't know for how long before Elsa finally found the courage to speak.

"Aren't you mad at me?" she breathed out, in barely a whisper.

"Mad? Why would I be mad?" The younger girl was truly shocked at this question.

"I broke our promise…"

Anna lifted up her sister's arms. "But you didn't." She pulled her back into a hug. "May I have it…please?"

Elsa forgot that she had still been holding on to the broken piece of mirror. She handed it to Anna, afraid of what she might do if she held to it any longer.

"Thank you" Anna said tossing it away. "Now, would you like to talk about it?" A small smile grew on her face, hoping to coax her sister from the shell she had buried herself behind.

Elsa let out a small laugh and looked at Anna. There was such hope, joy, love, and admiration in her eyes. She didn't understand.


End file.
